All I want for Christmas...

My parents just celebrated Thanksgiving. I know this because they spent all day cooking then disappeared for hours. This means it was a holiday. But most exciting, they kept the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade on in the morning then the dog show. I love the dog show. I rooted for my cousin - the Cavalier King Charles of course... I don't know for a fact that we're related but I'm sure distantly we are... Anyway, after Thanksgiving comes Christmas.

Christmas is my most favorite holiday. The house always smells yummy, and extra morsels for me to eat are always falling to the floor. Last year my parents had a party just for me. They invited all of these other humans and had food and music. I got to pick whose lap I wanted to sit on - I tried out everyone. I even got to be in a few photos. Everyone kept saying how cute I was. It was the best. I haven't heard about a party this year but I'm hoping. But Christmas means, we get to go to the dog bakery. We only go two times a year, once at my birthday and once at Christmas.

The dog bakery is awesome. It's in a mall but the mall lets dogs come too. They always have samples of treats out. Mommy usually picks out two or three goodies that get wrapped up and taken home. Then I get cake every night after dinner or last year on my birthday I got ice cream for a few days. My favorite is carrot cake. But I also like the stuff with peanut butter in it. Oh and those cookies that Mommy says are like Oreo's but for dogs.

It being almost Christmas, this is the start of my Christmas list. As my loyal followers, you are welcome to purchase anything on the list for me.

1. Greenies. My eyes light up at the word.
2. Doggie Bakery Treats
3. Frisbees
4. Balls
5. See list about outdoor covered area to go to the bathroom in...

I can't think of anything else. I'm not that greedy. Maybe a nice long walk and a party. I'm off to see if I can find any leftover turkey.

The small person that Mommy calls Niece came yesterday. As I mentioned in my previous post, I love small people and they love me. In fact everyone loves me. Everyone but Niece. This perplexes me. I have tried on multiple occasions to make friends with Niece but they are usually met with screams and demands that someone pick her up. And one time when I tried to persuade her to share her cookies with me, she kicked me. I'm not sure how to win her over. I've tried my normal tactics...

Stare at someone while making my eyes look huge and sad (I think to myself, think sad, think I haven't been petted in ages, don't you want to love on this adorable little creature)

Follow person around until they eventually cave

Engage someone in play so they realize how fun I am

Appear cute and cuddly from afar

Sit polietly and wait to be engaged

Bark loudly so person can't ignore me

Yesterday my attempts were met with more screams. Niece acts as if I'm attempting to kill her. Mommy did appear frustrated and held me so my feelings weren't too hurt. Any advice on how to make her like me?

C's Hidden Gems

My favorite holiday is Halloween. Random small people just stop by my house. I love small people. They are the right height for kisses, they show affection easily, they always want to pet me, and they generally are sticky with leftover food. Kisses are a must when small people are around. But this post isn't about small people or Halloween. Halloween just got me thinking about my first Hidden Gem.

This post is for my four legged friends only. If you walk on two legs, are not covered in hair and have thumbs you must stop reading. I think that criteria should keep me covered that from this point on it's animals and Cavaliers only. 

So, what is a Hidden Gem post? This post is dedicated to you, where I share things I find interesting, humorous or tips to make our lives easier. My first gem revolves around Halloween.

Why do these small people come to our house on this glorious holiday? While, I wish it was just to see me, I know it's because my parents are giving out candy. Candy is delicious. Candy is basically little balls or squares of sugar that people eat. People love candy. I know this because a: they get all happy when they eat it and make weird sounds and faces and b: they never share it and even insinuate that it's bad for animals. But I have a secret. There is candy in your backyard. Yes, you heard that right.I've found it - little delicious balls of chocolate. I know it's candy because a: it taste amazing and b: my parents freak out when I eat it and scream at me. They tell me this is not candy and it's disgusting. They even pin me down and brush my teeth. But my animal friends, I am quite sure it is candy and they just don't want us to enjoy ourselves.

So, how do you find this candy? This requires stealth. Your parents must not suspect you are looking for candy. Pretend you are looking for a spot to go to the bathroom (I shudder writing this). Scan your yard. The candy is usually in the bits of longer grass. It's almost always near the Easter Bunny. I know it's the Easter Bunny because I know at Easter the Bunny brings candy to kids.... What does this Bunny do the rest of the year? Give candy to animals! If you see the Easter Bunny there will usually be candy. For extra fun, sneak up on him and make him run then you can chase him. Once he escapes, go back to where you first saw him. There should be a nice pile of chocolate waiting. Yum! Now gobble that up as fast as you can. If your parents even suspect you found candy you'll probably be yelled out and taken inside.

Now you don't always see the Easter Bunny. This is key. Just like he sneaks into the house to give candy to kids. He sometimes will sneak into the yard to give candy to animals. This is trickier. At this point you need to sniff out that candy. It's like hide and seek. The reward is worth it.

I hope you enjoyed this Hidden Gem. Make sure your parents do not see you reading this. They will not be happy that I have shared this secret. Stay tuned for future Hidden Gem posts.

The horror that is rain

I have a strong dislike to rain. Really anything that makes the grass wet. It's completely inconvenient.

My companions realize I hate the rain and laugh as I scamper as delicately as I can on the wet surface. It's bad enough I am forced to relieve myself outside but to do so when I'm standing in a few feet of mud and getting pelted by rain is just humiliating. I am quite certain Kate Middleton is not made to suffer such humiliation. I bet they don't even let her feet get wet.

It has rained here for the last few days. And by rain, I mean the sky is falling kind of rain. Exceptions to the no peeing inside rule should have been made. I tried to protest this cruelty by hiding at the mere mention of "outside" but Mommy usually found me and dragged me out. I stood underneath the patio table shivering hoping they'd get the hint and I even went on strike and refused to relieve myself last night. Still the rain did not stop and the inhumane rule was not lifted. By this morning, I simply could not hold it any longer (a girl has her limits).

I have decided to craft a list of demands to make future trips outside more bearable.

1. Rain, snow, garden hoses, anything water related should not be allowed. Since I do like running in grass and my understanding is that grass needs water I'm willing to compromise a bit. It may rain between the hours of 12 am and 3 am every day but the sun must dry all rain before my delicate paws touch grass at 6 am. If the grass is the least bit wet, I will revert back to my earlier demand of no water at all outside, ever. It's your move Mother Nature - choose wisely.

2. As I'm not sure how reasonable this rain demand is... Mother Nature seems like a moody bitch. I need these supplies pronto:

• A poncho - preferable in something that doesn't clash with my beautiful red hair - I'm thinking green or a nice black. Or maybe navy blue. I'm open to suggestions.
• A boots - I saw a nice pair of rain boots in the paper once. Wellies would be nice as an off brand may leak.
• A personal assistant - no laughing please. I heard on the news that P. Diddy has an assistant to carry an umbrella over his head. I want that. Said assistant will immediately be terminated if a drop of rain touches me. I also demand that the assistant carry me outside and place me under a shelter with dry ground (see next demand).
• A shelter (aka bathroom) must be immediately built outside. I prefer walls so the neighbors stop looking at me as I go to the bathroom. I'm convinced they are snickering at my antics. I also want the floor to be dry at all times. A grass floor would be nice but the grass must be no longer than an inch and a half high. The shelter must be climate controlled, no wind, and a balmy 55 to 60 degrees year-round.  Don't worry, I won't go crazy like those celebs and demand that it be stocked with only one color treat and bottled water shipped from France. 

This list is obviously just the start and may be revised and edited at the sole discretion of ... well me. Option 2 is not negotiable as I'm sure my parents can make all those demands happen in about a week.

No Beauty Rest Sunday

I'm a little miffed right now. Apparently everyone but my Dad knows that a real Princess needs her beauty rest. First, Mommy and Daddy have been home almost all weekend due to a "storm". This means, I need to follow them at all times to ensure that they aren't eating treats without me. Hence, I got a little less than my normal eighteen hours of sleep on Saturday. By today, I was ready to curl up on the sofa and snooze the day away - treats or no treats. My Dad obviously didn't get the memo that the family room was my zone for the day. As in keep out Dad.

Not only do you put a huge wrench in my Saturday napping plans but now you're going to destroy Sunday too? I shake my head in wonder.

Apparently this Sunday and every Sunday through winter is game day. The TV is blaring, I'm forced to wear my team jersey shirt, and sleep is out of the question. If the game is on, the house is loud. There is a lot of screaming and "coaching" although the mini-people on the TV never seem to hear him. I glared at him multiple times but to no avail. It's been at least two hours and I'm getting lightheaded from sleep deprivation. Someone call PETA. This animal cruelty needs to stop.

Allow me to introduce myself

I never thought I’d be writing a blog. The fact that I don’t have opposable thumbs is a hurdle - it does make typing hard!  But my human companions are gone at least nine hours a day, so I find that I have a lot of free time. (Time I can spend crafting witty blog posts and learning how to type). Left to my own devices, I become bored quickly. I guess you could say I'm not very self-sufficient. Not to mention, a girl can only nap so much.

So where do I start? I feel like I'm writing a dating profile. Not that I've been on a dating site but I've seen the commercials. I'm an adorable redhead that loves long walks (beach not necessary), cuddling on the sofa and playing fetch. I'm outgoing and haven't met a human or animal that I don't like. And I guess I need to get this out of the way... I'm a dog. I don't really like that word. It's so one dimensional and ordinary and I am anything but ordinary. My companions (who I call Mommy and Daddy) coo that I look like a stuffed animal and that I'm "so expressive". I take this to mean I'm extraordinarily good looking (agents - call me) and intelligent. Plus, I'm a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. For those of you not in the know, that means I am not just an ordinary dog. I'm the dog of royals. My ancestors lived in palaces. There's even a rumor I'm allowed in all government buildings in the United Kingdom (America - get on board). Hence my blog name - The Pampered Princess. If my ancestors lived with royals, then of course they would be royal too. I certainly think I could handle a royal life. I imagine myself lying on a plush sofa all day and being handfed. Alas, I was born in America where royalty is frowned upon in principle but adored on the simple basis that most kids have an unrealistic goal of growing up to be a prince or princess (thanks fairy tales!).  I have no explanation why adults are equally as fascinated by royals, except maybe it's just the whole prestige and celebrity factor.

Back to the blog though... This is my space to write about my life. I hope you enjoy but if not at least I can put my newly learned typing skills to work.